another haiku for someone that did not deserve it
when the loverboy in me comes out, why do i always get embarrassed?
the nine inch nails and johnny cash both start out singing, โi hurt myself todayโ. and i guess i start this blog today with that same sentiment.
this one will be short and sweet. but first, some context.
over these last few weeks, iโve lost my fucking mind. i gave in to every drop of desire and ounce of lust for someoneโฆ and itโs been fun. but itโs also been a neverending litany of anxiety. i sleep with someone, the connection is electrifying - and somehow, despite knowing better, my heart and my mind have to conflate the titillation and lust with genuine attractionโฆ andโฆ dare i say? even love? it canโt be.
iโm not gonna lie, iโve been down this road so many times. itโs ridiculous that i keep falling for the same shit, knowing how it always ends. falling into the same familiar pattern.
i knew from the start that nothing more could develop but lust. i knew it. it was established. yetโฆ here i am. again.
i like feeling like i am after someone. i like the chase. i like to be romantic. but at the same time, i really feel like i have to be in control and when iโm on that romantic vibeโฆ control is the first thing i lose. control of myself, my feelings, my lust, my everything.
i canโt stop thinking about this person. and we have only hung out a handful of times. every time our bodies have collided, itโs been so satisfying and beautiful. i havenโt had this in such a long time. i didnโt even know it was possible anymore for me to feel like this, as if life wearing me down had numbed me somehow, grounding my natural โloverboyโ tendencies into powder, into nothing.
so in a fit of pique, i wrote this person a haiku about how much i wanted them. and i sent it to them. iโm not gonna lie, the reaction left much to be desiredโฆ yet again.
at least i liked the haiku. and here it is:
untitled
warm beneath my lips,
your skin, a whispered scent -
craving your sweet salt.
if itโs not obvious that i have an oral fixation and my encounters with this person have consistently led to me devouring every part of their body with reckless abandonโฆ well, i hope it shows now.
letโs keep this one between us, shall we?
iโm embarrassed that every time this part of me comes out, it gets met with absolute indifference. maybe i should stop writing haikus for people. or maybe when i do, i should simply keep them to myself.
โwell that was totally normal to do. yep,โ i tell myself.
iโd prefer if they told me that the haiku sucked.
anyway, mis amores - i hope youโre having a better time than i in your romantic endeavors. please donโt lie to yourself. itโll cost you everything, every single time. and you wonโt be able to see the truth when itโs there.
con amor y verguenza,
edgard ๐





you shouldn't be embarrassed about this, your response to it is funny, especially the part about preferring they say it sucked rather than be indifferent lol i wish someone wrote me a haiku
The feel of being embarrassed of oneself. Never gets old