if i ruled the world: rewriting the constitution
if i ruled the world: rewriting the constitution
ten amendments to make america actually great
hey y'all,
imagine if i ruled the world - think i'd stop at dropping knowledge over nas beats? hahaha. but really though, we all have things weโd like to see happen, ideas that could help people and solve problems. iโve always been a dreamer, so we're taking this fantasy to a whole new level. welcome to "if i ruled the world," a series where i'll be donning my benevolent dictator hat and reshaping society as we know it.
picture it: me, your favorite queer chaos agent, armed with nothing but a pen, a wild imagination, and an unhealthy obsession with fixing everything wrong with the world. it's like that game where you pretend the floor is lava, except the floor is the status quo and i'm parkour-ing my way through policy changes that would make even AOC say, "whoa, slow down there, champ."
buckle up, buttercup - things are about to get wild, wacky, and maybe, just maybe, a little bit world-changing.
why write this?
you know, i've been playing this "if i ruled the world" game since i was knee-high to a grasshopper. picture little edgard (edgard chiquito), all wide-eyed and energetic, strutting around and declaring to anyone who'd listen (and even those who wouldn't) that i was gonna be the governor of puerto rico someday.
i'd rattle off policies like i was reciting my ABCs, probably making about as much sense as a toddler trying to explain quantum physics. but hey, the passion was there! haha. and it still is there.
as i grew older, that fire never dimmed. if anything, it burned brighter, fueled by my experiences as a queer puerto rican.
life has a funny way of making you resourceful when you're juggling identities that the world isn't always kind to. every obstacle, every sideways glance, every "you can't do that" became another log on the fire of my aspirations.
so here i am, still dreaming big, still coming up with wild ideas to change the world. only now, instead of boring my poor mami and hermanos with my plans to revolutionize the school lunch program, i'm inflicting them on you, dear readers. lucky you, right?
the u.s. constitution
today, we're tackling the big kahuna: the u.s. constitution. sure, it's a revered document, but let's be real - it's older than betty white (rest in peace, queen) and could use some serious updating.
now, for those of you who slept through civics class (no judgment, we've all been there), here's a quick refresher: amending the constitution is about as easy as herding cats. amending the constitution requires a two-thirds majority in both the house and senate, or a constitutional convention called by two-thirds of state legislatures. then, it needs to be ratified by three-fourths of the states. in its 200+ year history, the constitution has only been amended 27 times.
so, without further ado, here are ten amendments i'd slap onto that parchment faster than you can say "we the people." because if we're gonna go through all that trouble, we might as well make it count, right?
my ten constitutional amendment proposals
the "direct election of president and vice president" amendment
why: because the popular vote should be what actually decides who leads the country
who'd love it: democrats, urban voters, anyone who's ever said "my vote doesn't matter"
who'd hate it: republicans, rural states, electoral college math enthusiasts, fascists, january 6th cousin fuckers
specifics: this amendment would abolish the electoral college system. the president and vice president would be elected directly by popular vote, with the candidates receiving the most votes nationwide winning the election.
the "universal voting rights and registration" amendment
why: because democracy works best when everyone participates
who'd love it: civil rights activists, young voters, people tired of long lines at the DMV
who'd hate it: voter suppression enthusiasts, conspiracy theorists, anyone who thinks voting should be an obstacle course
specifics: this amendment would guarantee the right to vote for all citizens and provide automatic voter registration upon turning 18. it would also establish federal standards for election security and accessibility, including early voting and mail-in ballot options.
the "get money out of politics" amendment
why: because elections shouldn't be won by whoever has the biggest wallet
who'd love it: grassroots organizations, anyone who's tired of being bombarded with political ads
who'd hate it: super PACs, billionaires, anyone who thinks "corporate sponsorship" should apply to politicians
specifics: this amendment would set strict limits on campaign contributions and expenditures. it would also empower congress to regulate campaign finance, including the ability to overturn citizens united.
the "age limits for public office" amendment
why: because sometimes you can be too old to run a country (or interpret its laws)
who'd love it: millennials, gen Z, anyone who's tired of politicians that say that the internet is a series of tubes
who'd hate it: career politicians, supreme court justices clinging to their seats, people who think "experience" always trumps fresh ideas
specifics: this amendment would set a maximum age limit of 70 for elected officials. it would also establish a mandatory retirement age of 72 for supreme court justices (and all federal judges).
the "fair representation for all" amendment
why: because it's time for congress to actually represent the people (all of them)
who'd love it: residents of U.S. territories, indigenous tribes, anyone who's ever felt their vote doesn't count
who'd hate it: anyone benefiting from the current system, people who think "taxation without representation" is just a catchy slogan
specifics: this amendment would expand the house of representatives to use ranked choice in multi-member districts. each senator would be elected via ranked choice as well. it would also grant full representation to recognized indigenous tribes, including house seats and 2 senators each, and partial representation to U.S. territories (full house delegation, one senator only each, states get the full two - i think we should incentivize states joining). full representation for washington, dc; to be admitted as a state called the douglass commonwealth.
the "in or out" amendment
why: because joining or leaving the union shouldn't be a guessing game
who'd love it: puerto ricans, DC residents, anyone who's ever debated state secession at 2 am, probably some of those weird republican wingnuts
who'd hate it: status quo defenders, people who think maps should never change, people who like ambiguity
specifics: this amendment would establish a clear process for territories to become states or for states to leave the union. it would require a binding referendum with at least 65% voter turnout, authorized by both congress and the affected state or territory legislature.
the "equal rights, no asterisks" amendment
why: because equality shouldn't come with fine print
who'd love it: women, LGBTQ+ folks, anyone who's ever felt discriminated against
who'd hate it: bigots, people who think "traditional values" means "1950s values"
specifics: this amendment would prohibit discrimination based on sex, gender, sexual orientation, or gender identity. it would also require equal treatment under the law and equal access to opportunities in all areas of public life.
the "digital privacy rights" amendment
why: because your data should be as protected as your home
who'd love it: privacy advocates, anyone who's ever read a terms of service agreement and felt their soul leave their body
who'd hate it: big tech companies, data miners, people who think "targeted ads" are a public service
specifics: this amendment would establish digital privacy as a fundamental right, requiring warrants for data searches and seizures. it would also give individuals control over their personal data (and the right for them to profit off their data), including the right to know what data is collected and how it's used.
the "corporations are not people" amendment
why: because last time i checked, amazon can't vote (or go to jail)
who'd love it: consumer rights advocates, small business owners, anyone who's tired of corporate bailouts
who'd hate it: wall street, mega-corporations, anyone who thinks "corporate personhood" isn't an oxymoron
specifics: this amendment would explicitly state that corporations are not entitled to constitutional rights intended for individuals. it would also hold corporations accountable for their actions, making it easier to prosecute corporate wrongdoing.
the "labor rights for all" amendment
why: because work shouldn't be a four-letter word
who'd love it: unions, workers, anyone who's ever worked overtime without pay
who'd hate it: union-busting corporations, gig economy exploiters, people who think "minimum wage" means "race to the bottom", mitt romney probably
specifics: this amendment would guarantee the right to unionize, collectively bargain, and strike for all workers.
jeez, what a nerdโฆ
and you know what? youโre damn fucking right. there are the ten amendments that would turn america into a utopia or a socialist hellscape, depending on who you ask! but itโs the ten amendments iโd try to get passed if i ruled the world, haha.
but hey - check yourself before you wreck yourself. getting any of these passed would be about as easy as teaching a cat to speak mandarin, but hey, a queer can dream!
what do you think? what amendments would you add to the constitution if you were running the show? drop your ideas in the comments. who knows, maybe we'll start our own constitutional convention. byob, of course.
until next time, may your rights be unalienable and your pursuit of happiness be successful!
edgard ๐งก
p.s. if anyone from the fbi is reading this, i swear i'm not trying to overthrow the government. i'm just spitballing here. please don't put me on a list!